Unlearning My Internalized Misogyny with @Aonele

Unlearning My Internalized Misogyny with @Aonele

Photo Credit: @paulbryla 

Good morning LECHERY Ladies, we’re back with the interviews! How are we all doing today? Happy Hump day to all our lovely femme fatales who’s making the most out of their 2020! You all are such beautiful and confident human beings! Today is a special day as we are starting the day with an incredible interview we had with Helen @aonele on lingerie and lolita fashion. As a profession, Helen is a devoted registered nurse who was inspired by the loving Mother Theresa during her work in Calcutta, India. At the same time, Helen also grew a passion for lolita fashion and lingerie. She currently is a moderator for the Chicago Lolita Community @chicagoeglcomm - so for those who would want to know more about it - reach out to @aonele! As for lingerie, her love for it really sparked when a fellow LECHERY Lady, Rebecca @_notyourwaifu_ (who is her cousin), introduced her to do a shoot with their talented photographer @steviedphotography. From there, she described she was “hooked” into doing lingerie shoots. In this interview with Helen, she also discusses how she found her confidence and love for herself. Lastly, since we had the wonderful opportunity to talk to this stunning lingerie connoisseur, we couldn’t resist asking her what lingerie brands and pieces she advises to invest in to make us all feel sexy and confident. To learn more about this sexy, powerful, and highly intelligent woman, keep on reading xx! 

Interview with the passionate and devoted Lolita fashionista @aonele

LECHERY: First of all, thank you so much for giving us the opportunity to interview you! It is such a pleasure to have you here with us (virtually) of course haha! Let’s first start off by you telling us a little bit more about yourself. What do you do? 

HELEN: I'm a registered nurse and I've been one for about 7 years now. It's a very rewarding job that challenges me and teaches me new things daily. Fun fact, I decided to be a nurse after reading a book about Mother Theresa and her work in Calcutta, India. I felt like what she did was very similar to what nurses would do, and it came at the perfect time when I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. I'm very thankful that I'm a nurse now and I really enjoy the field!

LECHERY: We heard from your cousin Rebecca @_notyourwaifu_ who is also a fellow LECHERYTE that you do Lolita fashion and lingerie, what got you started in doing both?

HELEN: I was actually a lolita fashionista first before I started doing lingerie shoots! I've always had an affinity for laces and frills and other hyper-feminine aesthetics, and was exposed to Japanese lolita fashion by a friend back in 2006. I started wearing lolita fashion pieces in 2008, and I'm currently a moderator for the Chicago Lolita Community. You can find out more about the Chicago Lolita Community on IG @chicagoeglcomm and on Facebook Chicago Lolita Community. We're strictly about Japanese fashion, and if you love frilly things and poofy skirts, we're the group for you! 

As for lingerie photos, I did my first lingerie photoshoot back in 2013 or so, just for fun, and loved the way the photos came out! It wasn't until Rebecca invited me to do a photo shoot with Steve (@steviedphotography on IG) that I really fell in love with lingerie shoots. We did the photo shoot together and it was so liberating! I'm a little hooked!

LECHERY: What does lingerie mean to you? Does it give you confidence? Or is it just something you wear to give an added extra sex appeal? How do you feel when wearing lingerie?

HELEN: There was a time in my life in my early teens/20s when I felt a lot of shame, both for being a woman and the way my body looked. I spent a lot of years unlearning my internalized misogyny, and as a result, I started to gain confidence and came to love myself both as a person and as a woman. I started to realize and understand that a woman's body is not profane, but something that is lovely. I feel that lingerie amplifies that feeling for me: it's very liberating to wear something so revealing and form-fitting and think to myself "Hell yea, I'm sexy as fuck, and that's completely acceptable and okay!" 

LECHERY: What is the perfect set of lingerie to you? And which brands would you recommend?

HELEN: I really love garter belts and stockings! I try to wear them whenever I get the chance, so any lingerie that goes well with garter belts and stockings are up my alley! Rebecca got me to try La Senza and I really love how beautiful and affordable their pieces are! No one should have to go broke to feel sexy!

LECHERY: What is a bad experience you've had with a lingerie set? And what brands would you avoid buying from? 

HELEN: I wouldn't necessarily say that I've had bad lingerie experiences, but there was a time when I thought lingerie from Spencer's or Hot Topic were "good enough" lol. Now that I know a little better, I often choose to invest in brands that have a mission statement I agree with and made well. I don't necessarily avoid any brands because La Senza has me hooked on their pieces. Don't need to avoid brands if you're wholly devoted to one brand, right? Lol.

LECHERY: What is your main advice to women who struggle with confidence and body image? 

HELEN: Take up pole dancing! I started taking pole dancing fitness classes about 4 years ago. The things I've learned and the pole community as a whole has been a major driving force that's helped me unlearn my internalized misogyny. The community is full of very empowering women who uplift each other, in my experience. I saw my body go from "I'm sore in ways I can't even explain" to "check out what my body can do!" in the 4 years I've done pole, and I plan to keep it up! 

LECHERY: What do you hope to find in the lingerie industry in the future?

HELEN: I'm seeing a lot of body acceptance in the lingerie industry and I really hope to see it continue! I'd love to see it expand to cover disabled bodies, aging bodies, and trans bodies as well. I can really see a future where the beauty standard is redefined to include even more bodies that challenges our current definition of beauty. 

LECHERY: What is one lingerie piece that every girl should have in their closet? 

HELEN: Whatever makes the girl feel confident and comfortable in her own body! I'm sure everyone has at least one piece that makes them smile to themselves when they put it on! It may take some time to explore and find the right piece, it's a journey worth embarking!

LECHERY: What is one thing you would always wear that would make you feel much more confident and sexy?

HELEN: My John Fluevog Fauvist Fries in red! It's a very badass pair of witchy heels that makes really loud clicking noises when I walk. I love wearing it with a witchy outfit and pretend I'm out to bewitch people and destroy my enemies! PS: I'm single, looking to date people who self identify as a feminist! 

Photo credit: @steviedphotography

Photo credit: @steviedphotography
Photo credit: @paulbryla 
Follow our LECHERY Lady on Instagram: @aonele

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